In my commentary on chapter 7 of the Tao Te Ching, I quoted that the Tao ‘has no desires for itself’. Later on I concluded that ‘I want to be selfless’ is a self-contradiction. But this leads to some basic questions: how can I become selfless if I don’t want to be? If I didn’t want to learn more about the Tao, why am I blogging about it??a
One friend pointed out to me that desire is at the heart of our lives: after all, we only choose to do things because we want to! Another agreed that we cannot help but have desires, but that our goal should be to temper those desires. Here is a thought I have, tell me what you think.
I think the problem with desire is that it creates a division between means and ends. Here is what I mean: when we decide we want something, we get a picture of it in our head. Then, once we have that mental image, we decide how to go about making it happen.
Why is that so bad? Because almost immediately we begin using the end to justify the means. ‘I had to hit Sally, because she wouldn’t give me my car back!’ ‘I know I have to do some underhanded dealing, but it’s worth it!’ ‘We’ve had to torture a few prisoners, but we got the information we needed.’ I could go on and on (and on).
Here is a thought: ends never justify the means. Ever.
What is the alternative, then? Simply this: focus on the means, forget where they end.
Live generously; don’t worry about whether you will have enough. Act virtuously; don’t worry if people walk over you. Speak truthfully; don’t worry whether it benefits you or not. Don’t overwork yourself, even if some things are left undone. Live peacefully, even if someone is violent towards you.
I’m guessing that the more I choose to focus on how I am living right now, the less I will find myself desiring something else, and then modifying my behaviour to make it happen. And yes, I do desire for that to be true; but once it becomes true, then desire is finally finished. This is the only desire where the end and the means are actually the same thing!
One final thought: for me, this goes one step beyond just being selfless. There are many people who give their lives to help other people and end up overworked, overstressed, and empty. Why? Because they sacrificed their own health out of selfless desire (still just a means/end division). I wonder if these people instead chose to focus on simply taking the right action in the present moment, rather than focusing on their desire to change a person, or a community, or the world. Would it make a difference? It seems to me that often the most ‘earth-changing’ people keep their heads down and only pay attention to their next step.
