In my last post I presented a short poem. I wasn’t really happy with it, so as an experiment I took the beginning and converted it to a cleave style. I like this version better.
I’ve written enough cleaves now that I think I have a sense of what I’m trying to ‘get’ from the style. I like when it really feels as though each side stands completely on its own— like I could have written it by itself and been happy with it. And it also needs to be integrated in both dimensions (vertically and horizontally) so that it doesn’t feel just jammed together. That means making sure the phrases overlap as much as possible. Finally, it’s nice when it’s short enough to read several times in different ways, rotating it like a crystal.
What do you think?
| there are many things | i wish i could tell you |
| so many things | i wish i could say |
| and what i mean | with a single word |
| is so much more | and even less |
| to you— | just exactly what i see |
