parenting

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Last Friday I was fortunate enough to become a father for a second time.  I was with Melissa, doing my best to give encouragement and backrubs, as she gave birth to Emilia Mae.  Amazingly, it feels like the first time all over again.

I think all of us look for something to validate our lives, a purpose for hanging around:  vocations, careers, hobbies, even simple hedonism, all good in my opinion.  For the moment, taking care of my two little ones is mine.  I’ve screwed up a lot of things in my life, but I don’t want being a father to be one of them.  Who knows?  I still might.  But I’m giving it my best shot.  If I say so myself, I don’t think I’ve done too bad so far.

Let’s see how it goes.  I’m having loads of fun :)

3 May, 2010 | 1 comment

Parenting styles

14 April, 2010 in Uncategorized | No comments

I don’t usually like to criticise other people’s parenting styles.  I’m no expert, and I’m sure there’s plenty to criticise about mine.  But occasionally I see something that really makes me wince, especially when it seems to be very common.  So here goes my rant:

When you’re doing your weekly shopping at the grocery store and your children are playing noisily with each other, that’s ok. You do not have to get all irritated and say in a nasty tone, ‘Would you please stop that?!’  That’s not cool.  They’re children.  They’re playing.  No one is upset except you.

Ok, I’m finished ranting.  But seriously.  ’Good behaviour’ for a child does not mean acting like an adult.  And ‘good behaviour’ for a parent means giving your kids a long lead, even if it interferes with your hectic, overstressed (and self-induced) lifestyle.

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holding my breath…

8 April, 2010 in Uncategorized | No comments

We had a great meeting with the midwife today!  The baby is literally ready to go, and we’re walking on eggshells, not knowing when ‘it’s time’!  How exciting is that, really?

The great thing about the health care philosophy in the UK (or at least at York hospital) is that the doctors and midwives are very sensitive and flexible to our personal wishes.  Today we talked about Melissa’s ‘birth plan’, which basically means how she wants to deliver, what medication she does and doesn’t want, etc.  She wants to do most things naturally as much as possible, and we don’t get frowned on for wanting that— on the contrary, the midwife knew exactly what we were talking about and encouraged us to go with that.  On the other hand, if she wanted more drugs, they would be ok with that too.

It’s really great to feel like you have some control over your medical care, without having to make the false distinction between pharmaceutical-driven western medicine and holistic medicine, or be forced into one or the other by ignorant doctors or whatever.  Personally, I’m very glad that Melissa likes doing things with as little intervention as possible, and I hope that this time goes as smoothly as with Olivia’s birth.  Let’s wait and see!

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